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Thread: In the golden moment of the day

  1. #1
    misko Guest

    Default In the golden moment of the day

    Passing last Saturday long spotted place, this time luck was on my side ...
    Last edited by misko; 10-26-2005 at 11:44 PM.

  2. #2
    ahockley Guest

    Default

    This is a great piece which accurately captures the joys and challenges of the "golden moment". The text does a good job of portraying both the mood and lighting of the time of day as well as the photographer's anticipation and emotions hoping to get the perfect shot.

    A couple of text glitches which jumped out at me: to the left of the photo on page 2, there's a line that ends "Tricky lighting" and the "g" is cut off, and the next line down there's an f on the end of the line with the rest of the word on the next line. I'm not sure if I would have caught these otherwise but being on two adjacent lines they jumped right out. Also, I'll point out one grammar thing, because it occurs in the (important) last section of the essay... in the next to last sentence, the word "sighted" should be "sighed".

    The photographs are great and accurately reflect the mood and emotions conveyed in the text. The first photo is the gem, well composed and accurately lit for the mood of the piece. The second photo was good as well, with the shine of the rails drawing the reader in.

    Overall it's a great piece capturing a moment in time. Fixing a couple of the text errors would improve the quality just a bit more and I'd encourage Mikso to make the minor changes, but I definitely recommend approval.

  3. #3
    misko Guest

    Default

    Thanks Aaron for pointing me to the mistakes that have crept into my text. Regarding missing "g" and cut-off "f" I must say that the PSP isn't the best page editing program, but it is the only one I have that can handle the text and the photos the way I want. Text pasted from the word processor into PSP remains as single extremely long line and it has to be broken into column width manually, what leads easily to the mistakes. As for sighted and sighed - a simple, everyday typo which has been overlooked with ease because of similarity of the words.

    We are all prone to mistakes, especially late at night, at the end of tiring day, and nobody is exception - my name misspelled in your post proves it, and that's why each and every publisher has the proof readers. I know from the experience, my own and that of the others - a writer can read his own text twice or three times and every time he will go over the same mistake not noticing it. This is because every time we start reading another word, we assume what it is and jump right to the next one, not reading it thoroughly or to the end.

    As much as I try to proof read thoroughly my own texts, mistakes will inevitably creep in, and I'm thankful to anyone who notices them and points me to them. It is annoying to read the text full of grammar or typing errors, to me and to anyone, and I'll be happy if I could correct them during the evaluating period and before my photo-essay goes public.

    Perhaps a suggestion is in place here, not because of me only but for the good of all: Why not pointing author to the mistakes he had made in his text by the private mail, not because of saving his face, but if he corrects them, they are gone, while the assessment remains. It certainly has no point that it contains remarks about the nonexistent mistakes...

  4. #4

    Default

    I also don't have problem with deleting comments about typos and other small errors from the reviews before they go public if they're fixed. They don't really serve any purpose, and as long as they're fixed why mention them in the final review?

    The same applies for other technical stuff that's not directly related to the essay itself. I don't think cleaning up the reviews in this way harms anything, some comments are only for the individual who submitted.
    Bob Harbison
    RailroadPhotoEssays host

  5. #5
    Mike Guest

    Default

    I'm having a bit of trouble with this essay.

    The first photo is fantasitic. It definetely belongs on this site. The second photo is good, but not as good as the first. It's also pretty similar to the first photo. In an essay with just two pictures, I'd prefer to see a little more difference in the two. I realize your essay focuses on one train at one point in time, but if you want an essay on the "golden moment" you could use pictures from different days and different places.

    As for the text, it starts off pretty slow. I was bored with the first page. It wasn't until you talked about calling the stationmaster that it began to interest me.

    I think it's a great idea for an essay, and a good start. But with a little work, it could be much more impressive. I'd like to see this idea improved on before I recommend it.

  6. Default

    I can relate to Misko's experience. I think he has captured the spirit and mood of his late afternoon quest.

    Misko - you might consider a further edit of your text to reduce the length, you know - get to the essence of it all.

    Second - from my point of view the second shot should be the lead photo. I bet it is just as sharp as the full frame train. It would resonate with the text more effectively. The train pops around the curve and then comes at you full on.

    Finally ( assuming that this is a two page spread), if the text is tightened up, I think it would be nice to have the distant shot in the upper left of the spread with the full frame train shot in the lower right. The text then contained in the lower left and upper right. Could be very strong and really do both photos justice.

    My 2 worth.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    Zanesville, Ohio
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    Default

    A nice little essay about the perseverence required to make an outstanding photo-or just enjoy a wonderfull moment trackside. Thumbs up from me.
    Chris Crook
    photojournalist

    pictures and yap

  8. #8
    ahockley Guest

    Default

    I see myself and Chris as approves, Mike wanting improvement, and it appears Jon wants some changes as well.

    Anyone want to give it one more vote one way or the other so we can either publish it, or let misko make a few changes?

  9. #9
    TomNanos Guest

    Default

    I like it - from the hope of not seeing the gates fall when you're just out of reach of the parking spot, to feeling the wake of the cars running past you. I could see it in my mind from start to end, even though I've never set foot in Slovenia. To me, that's what makes a great essay.

    Thumbs up from this guy....

    -Tom

  10. Default

    I like this piece as is - my comments were just suggestions. I'd like to add my thumbs up.

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